Magical Mystery Tour
The strawberry full moon this week, asking us to let go, to make room for what’s next. It’s not lost on me that this was the intention of my trip. A closing of one chapter to discern what wants to come next. And here we are on an astrological threshold as well. Each morning I do a little tarot and / or oracle card spread. Even my tarot cards here signal death and rebirth, clearing and resting before the next growing season.
I made my list of things to release. I placed the list under a rock to be held in the light of the full moon. A rock I picked up on my first hike here. I held that rock through the desert miles as I thought of all the things it is time to release- old stories, old hopes and dreams, outdated “software” if you will.
The night of the full moon I could see the fires off the deck (they’ve been burning since the day I arrived). It was a little disconcerting at first, but I knew what I needed to do if it was time to flee. Sleep came easy that night. But as dreams do, I was having a vivid one of being hunted and chased. I woke with a start. Picked up my phone and it was 1:11am. My room was red and I felt a panic rising. As I looked out the windows, the sky was red and I am pretty sure I heard sirens. I stepped outside. The red- the glow of the moon off the red rocks. The moon almost as bright as the sun, casting an eerie beautiful glow. The sirens- coyotes, a pack braying at the moon.
Earlier, I had been on the back porch and a hawk did a low fly by. Then three coyotes meandered by- stopping to look at me along the way. So this moonlit, coyote serenade let me stop in wonder and awe. It was then that I heard a voice, crystal clear, “Don’t you know… we always have your back. You don’t need to worry any longer.” It was so clear that all I could do was laugh. The moon was right- all the anxiety, all the fretting this human mind does; and I am still here! One day I will no longer be in this body, but while I am why not trust the benevolence of this mystical thing they call human life on earth? Why not surrender to the miracles- small and large- that let us know we are still alive and intimately connected to realms seen and unseen?
I’ve been working on this surrender thing for a while. (Isn’t that a funny statement!) And it seems to happen in layers. This one feels bigger, more spacious somehow. It’s less like letting go and more like stepping into the flow. “Here’s what the universe needs me to do now… Okay, let’s do this!” “Now let’s let the mental chatter about that thing go…” “Oh… here’s what’s next.” It’s gracefully floating between police impound lots and insurance. (Did I mention the carjacking my first stop in Memphis? More on that later… I don’t want that event to steal this precious moment.) AND being in this magical space of Sedona (sound healing, vortex hikes, magnificent beauty abounds). It’s not letting one get so weighed down by one, that I miss the other. It’s the release of the frustration of what my sabbatical was supposed to be. It’s the release of the 4am wake up. Instead asking, “Why am I up?” Only to look out the window and see an amazing striated sky as the sun rises. Which leads to three stolen hours just for me!
Maybe it’s not surrender the Universe / God / Spirit asks of us. Maybe it is more like a dance. She doesn’t want us to lay down and be beaten up by the world. She wants us to joyfully spin- following her lead. Sowing seeds, resting and letting her take over, and doing the work of harvest, hibernating then threshing and clearing to begin again. Maybe the key is dancing just as Mother Nature shows us how. Dancing with the mystery of it all- simply letting the call of the moment be all there truly is.
