Unicorns & Rainbows
“I Am Okay. The Situation Is Not.” Lately, this phrase has resonated deeply with me. There have been moments when I didn’t feel okay, when sadness and overwhelm rose up in full force—but underneath it all, I knew I would be okay. That fundamental steadiness was still there. There’s a common misconception—especially in yoga or spiritual communities—that if you practice enough yoga or meditate long enough, life will become sunshine, unicorns and rainbows. That if you just “vibe high” and “do your own thing,” nothing will bother you and you’ll float above all of life’s messiness. But that’s not how this works. This kind of thinking is actually a form of spiritual bypassing—(defined by ChatGPT) as using spiritual ideas or practices to avoid facing painful emotions, unresolved wounds, or the messiness of real life. It’s an immature take on teachings that are ancient, nuanced, and deeply grounded in reality.
The traditions I have studied—Vedanta and Buddhism—don’t teach us to escape life or avoid our emotions. They invite us to feel more fully, live more fully, and see more clearly. Many people think the Bhagavad Gita teaches us to eliminate desire, or that Buddhism is about detaching from suffering. But that’s only part of the picture. These traditions don’t ask us to suppress our desires or deny our pain—they ask us not to be attached to them. They remind us that suffering comes not from what we feel, but from how we relate to what we feel. Desire isn’t wrong. Emotion isn’t weakness. The teachings simply ask us to see clearly, to let go of clinging, and to experience life with awareness and compassion.
Last week, my emotions were running high before class. We lost a beloved pet, and my family is going through some growing pains. I did what I could to clear the energy—I practiced yoga, lit candles and incense, played the singing bowl. Still, something lingered. There was a shakiness I couldn’t shake loose. As I walked into the room to teach, fear crept in: What if I can’t hold it together? What if I let my sadness or frustration spill out onto everyone here? I stayed tucked in the corner for the first half of class, guiding from the sidelines. Then something shifted. A space opened in my heart and mind, and I remembered: I don’t have to lead with perfection. I can let the teachings carry us. And by the end of class, I felt grateful. I made it through! Then our sweet Pete looked at me, smiled, put his arm around me and said, “Even though you’re the teacher, you can cry too.” Tears came. I owe a generous thank you to Pete—for the permission, for the kindness, for the moment of truth.
I’ve realized that part of me still holds on to an old perfectionist belief: that I need to be the steady one, always holding space, always okay. But sometimes life just comes at you sideways. And sometimes the most honest, human thing you can do is let it show. I’ve always been able to fall apart at home or with close friends. But letting that vulnerability be visible in front of a room full of students—that was new, and hard. I was afraid people wouldn’t come back. (It wasn’t a sobbing breakdown—just some normal, human tears.) But I kept showing up. And so did you. That meant everything.
Five or ten years ago, the events of this past few weeks would have taken me down. And I definitely wouldn’t have cried in class. But growth doesn’t mean not feeling. It means allowing emotion to move through without being swept away. It means being with life, not against it. And now, even when sadness, loss, or confusion show up, I don’t feel lost. I feel safe in my own experience. I know that I’m held—by practice, by wisdom, by community. I know that I can be okay, even when the situation is not. And I’m learning, slowly but surely, that it’s okay to let it show.
Yoga isn’t about escaping life. It’s about arriving more fully into it. It’s about making space for the whole range of our human experience, and knowing we’re not alone in it. As my teacher Sarah Powers says, “Life is precious. This ephemeral existence is not to be wasted.” Let’s not bypass the hard stuff. Let’s let it teach us. Let it soften us. Let it call us deeper into our communitites and our lives. Let’s let it grow us into who we’re meant to be.
