”…After we jump into the darkness of the unknown, faith lets us believe that we will either land on solid ground, or we will be taught how to fly.” ~Anne Lamott
It has been exactly one year since I wrote two posts about my life changes. They explained my journey over a year of heart ache trying to do what I love without sacrificing my family’s needs. (Leap of Faith & Freefalling)
Being on the other side of this leap and freefall, I have had time to reflect. The year of heartache and struggle came to me when I was no longer doing what called to me. I was being called to teach yoga more and more and felt conflicted about going to work each day. I loved teaching elementary school and it has been hard leaving the rituals of a school year. I have had to create my own rituals to mark the days of the week and changes of the season. (I even spent the day teaching Henry and Claire about Johnny Appleseed on Johnny Appleseed’s birthday. Something I loved doing as a first grade teacher.)
But, here is what I value the most from the last year doing what I love– I finally found my own voice and my confidence as a teacher. I no longer doubted what I knew to be true for me. I was able to express through my daily actions what I believed and wanted to live. Each day I get to spend time thinking about matters of the spirit, talking to people about their struggles and how to heal their hearts. I have found not one, but two callings– teaching yoga and working with students with dyslexia. I get to take my children to school, take time off when they are sick (without having to write lesson plans), I get to go to all of the school performances and stay out late on school nights with a good friend. My life has slowed down and I have the gift of time and presence for those around me. Is our bank account a little slimmer? Well… yes, but it is certainly worth it. (It just means a few less trips to Target and only two pairs of yoga pants. Who needs more than that anyway?)
If life is prodding you down a different path, take the time to listen. Weigh your options. I was so afraid of making a change that I ended up at a standstill. I couldn’t leap. All I could do was sit and cry. With the encouragement of my teacher, my friends and my family; I leapt. This leap took a year to figure out with everything falling in to place in one week. When I made the decision to make a life change, a new opportunity appeared that suited my needs. Sometimes we have to stare the fear down and jump in spite of it.
Thank you to everyone who encouraged me and believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be in this place where I cannot help but smile each day.