Today I left Greenville and flew to Kripalu in Lenox, MA. This is the start of my 500-hour training with Sarah Powers. I told Brian two days ago I didn’t want to leave. So many reasons flooded my mind:
- don’t want to leave Henry & Claire
- I will miss my ritual of late night discussions with Brian
- don’t want to leave our students
- don’t want students to leave me while I am away
- too many trips this summer
- don’t like to fly
- I have to live in a dorm for 10 days with 8 women
- communal bathrooms
- no a/c
- etc. etc. etc…
None of the above bullets were the real issue. These things are all workable and manageable. It really boiled down to fear. I read this piece by Thich Nhat Hahn that seemed to speak directly to me. He says when we have fear, we don’t need to run from it. Instead we welcome it. We don’t react or cling. We say, “Hello fear. How are you today?” This seemed to be my mantra as I boarded the plane. I am sure it will be my mantra as we are practicing extended meditation and doing yoga from 7am until 9pm each day (with breaks for meals of course).
So, here I am with a beautiful view of the Berkshires and a lovely lake. The laptop and phone are going to disappear shortly. As I welcomed my fear and saw it for what it was, I slowly got excited about the journey I am about to begin. I wonder what else I will have the opportunity to welcome over the next week. Who knows, but at least I have some words to guide me along the way.
What do you do in the face of fear?