Clear and loving communication; this is something which Liz and Mr. B often stress to their students as part of the practice of yoga. I try hard each and every day to practice this way, but I recently fell short of that goal while communicating with a good friend. My temper flared due to frustration, the feeling that I wasn’t being heard and so on…just the usual tricks our minds play on us from time to time. Before I knew it, I fell out of practice and my communication was devolving into an unclear and, shall we say, less than loving state. The problem was, I was too focused on being “right”. I wanted to believe that the way in which I was viewing the situation was the correct one. The truth of the matter is that I am only “correct” in any given situation to the degree that my ego tells me I am. Sometimes, we just want to be right because that’s what our strong emotions say to us, even if we don’t have all the facts and are not thinking logically at the time.
My friend pointed out very eloquently that we’ve known one another for a good while now and that I should know by now that their intention is not to mistreat me. This one point spoke many volumes of wisdom to me. How can I just forget all the other positive, meaningful and heart-warming interactions with my friend, due to just this one silly miscommunication? I can see clearly how if I had just remembered this one point I would not have gotten angry and communicated in a negative way.
We often times get caught up in the tone of someone’s voice or how they deliver their words as opposed to what they are actually communicating. However, even if someone’s tone of voice seems to be stern or short, we should strive to remember that the other person may be holding a very full plate at the time and they are simply communicating in the best way they can at that time. This was the case with my friend. If we are good spiritual friends to them, we should not give in to ego and become offended. We should instead ask them if we can help in some way.
Thanks to my friend’s clear and loving communication, I am now better prepared for any similar interactions with my loved ones. My goal is to try my very best to remember that I don’t need to be “right” when conflict arises. I just need to be helpful and communicate with clarity and, above all, love.
Peace to you all.