All of us that practice yoga hope that our practice help us in some way or another. It could be we want physical relief from an aching back. It could be we want to quiet an anxious or nervous mind. It could be we hope to become kinder and better human beings. Whatever the reason, our yoga begins to shift the way we see the world. Somehow, this shift has to go leaps and bounds to shift our deepest relationships- our marriages (or relationship with a life partner).
One day while having lunch with Max, we were discussing yogis and marriage. He said to me, “You know I never comment on people’s marriages. People can be one way entirely and become a completely different person in a marriage.” I am sure this is accurate, but why?
When I was reading a parenting book it said our children come home and melt down because they feel safe and trust us to care for them. Is the same true of us and our partners? As I practice yoga, my hope is to be consistent, not rigid. To be who I am on the mat and off the mat, in the studio and at home. I hope that I offer my spouse the same care that I offer a student or myself on any given day. Max’s comment truly made me think about me and my actions in my marriage.
Today ask yourself if you treat your partner the same as you do others you care for in your life. If not, ask yourself why and what you can do to change that. If you do, then set an example for others in your life and show them what a wonderful thing it is to treat another person with care and respect. Every Thursday a couple comes to the 7pm class together. They have been married over 25 years (maybe even 30). Every Thursday they breathe together and practice yoga. They come out laughing and smiling, then go next door and have dinner together. They are an inspiration to me and to the rest of us that know them. They carry their yoga into their marriage and it shows.
Your challenge this weekend: Treat your loved one as someone you know from yoga class. Give them the patience, care and compassion that you would if they were an old trusted friend or a new acquaintance. Try it and see what happens.