Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

There has been a bit of buzz and questioning whether or not I will stay in Greenville.  After all, I have been traveling back and forth to California and I have no family here.  So of course, it leads to speculation as to where I might settle in and plant my feet.  This year has been so wonderful on so many counts and completely devastating on others.  I have learned what life is like as a single mom running a business, a home, taking care of two kids, three dogs and two cats full time.  My “time off” from parenting is Tuesday and Thursday nights when I teach and one Saturday every three weeks.  With my new life, I wasn’t sure where I needed to be or how to find the support I craved.

581449_4718783531373_170538561_nSome days I wanted to stay here to be sure my kids don’t have any further change in their lives.  Other days I wanted to run away to sunny California with kids in tow and start all over again.  And yet other days I wanted to run to Charlotte to the support and care of my sister and mom.  But two weeks ago I got sick and it taught me what I needed to know…

When I was sick, I realized I have a few very sweet friends who look out for me like family.  They texted daily and asked what I needed.  One friend even took my kids after the fever was all done so I could go home and sleep on a Saturday afternoon.  Another friend who lives in Indiana sent me food delivered from my favorite restaurant here in town.  I realized I don’t have to move home to family, I can create a village for myself and my kids right here.  I also realized how much teaching offers me in terms of my own mental health and steadiness.  Before class I have time to connect with adults and have meaningful conversations.  When I teach, I get to leave my stuff behind and be fully present for every person in the room with me.  When I leave class, I always feel better than when I arrived.  Every smile, every kind gesture, every hug has shown me that I already have an amazing village and I need to stay right here.

For now I can plant my feet on the ground and move forward knowing where I belong- in Greenville with each of you.  There are changes to be made, yes; but my feet need to be planted here.  I have to do what is best for me and in the end will be best for my kids as well.  Thank you for being my saving grace and thank you for holding space for me to grieve, to question, to grow.  I am honored and humbled to be a part of this very special community.  I can’t wait to see what happens next…

With love from Liz

 

ABOUT AUTHOR

Elizabeth Delaney