“Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having a different past.” ~Jack Kornfield talk on Gratitude from Zen Cast
How many times have we thought or said one of the following: If only my dad/ mom had done ______. If only my spouse hadn’t ____________. All I really want him / her to do is _________.
If you have heard your self saying any version of the above statements then it is time to practice some form of “forgivishness” (thanks to Ann Lammott for this term)– the giving up of all hope for having a different past. Forgiveness is only up to you and really has nothing to do with the other party involved. Forgiveness has no set timeline. Forgiveness has everything to do with your own perception of events of the past. Forgiveness means releasing yourself from wounds of the past. There is no perfect path, no right answer, just a loosening sensation around the heart.
If you have a situation that needs some forgivishness, take the time to explore it. See it from all sides. What would happen if you release yourself from the hold of the past so you can sit fully in the present? I know for me it allowed me to open myself to the gifts each day holds and allowed me to see myself in a new way, fully inhabiting who I am and the gifts I may have to share with others. What might some forgivishness do for you?